A Last Minute Gift Guide: Valentines Day

Monday, 12 February 2018

For 24 hours a year, we just have accepted everything is pink and red. Some people loathe, other’s take full advantage of the 14th. Me? I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with the day, ranging from celebrating the day wholeheartedly, borderline-enough-to-make-you-sick-a-little-in-your-mouth-why-is-literally-everything-heart-shaped-someone-please-stop-them, to a break up on the national holiday of luuuuuuuurb, in which I had to hand back, my at the time suitors gift of a low manufacturing cost teddy bear, whilst exclaiming, I couldnt be his as the teddy bear had so radically stated on its heart it was clutching onto with two paws.

Honestly, I would love to hate valentine’s day. But unfortunately, it is in my DNA, my inner conscience and my soul to: love picking out, receiving, sending, and writing cards more than anything, to watch people be in love together and justcombust with happiness, to be partial to a three-course meal and to be given a reminder youre liked quite a bit (ya girl needs validation). However, I do draw the V-day line at those ruddy ugly Pandora princess rings. You keep that pink and white ring box away from my tubby little mitts or Ill scream.

So today, Ive put together a little Valentines day gift guide, because nothing says a thoughtful, time consuming, deeply personal gift like one already picked out for you by Francesca Perks. Ive done my best to stay clear from the resoundingly cliché and attempted to put together some items, people may actually want for the other 364 days a year, *remembers I have put in my guide a book of images not to masturbate to and a blobfish soft toy and shakes head* and Ive gone and made it for him & for her to make everyones lives a little easier, however, you may notice the ‘for her’ guide may have double the options, because hey, treat your woman.

What am I doing this Valentine’s day I hear you scream? Well, I cant say Im dating Mr. Darcy at this moment in time, nor Robbie from Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging so I wouldn’t place your bets on a song titled Ultraviolet being released about me anytime soon. I can only assume itll be very low-key. Although, if youre reading this bud, If you could please divert your eyes to number 3,5, 9 and if you're feeling generous 18, and then of course being told Im relatively pretty in some lights in 15 minute intervals throughout the day. Many thanks.

For Her
15. You Know I Think This Day Is Stupid Card

For Him
28. Urban Outfitters Jazz Hands Planter

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