Let's talk about sex (on your period) baby: in partnership with Bodyform

Sunday, 13 October 2019

 ~ This is a paid collaboration with Bodyform ~

Hey Universe, hey Grandad Dan (God forbid he manages to dial up his Windows 96 to read this, I’m going to be responsible for his poor demise) just to let you all in on the insider goss, I have sex sometimes. Yep, I’m going to put my hands up and say, *sometimes* I have the sex. Never have I been the girl to divulge on her sex life in a close group of girls group chat and all, let alone online for my old English teacher to wander upon my blog after wondering "wow, where has Francesca Perks taken her eloquent writing prowess, she really did know how to Point, Evidence and Explain back in ol' '08," for her to see me talking about Tom, Dicks, and Fannys. I've always been a little bit of a prude when I think about it? I’d always remain silent at sleepovers whilst girls nattered about you know… doing *it* over a tub of Butterkist and Chewits. Well, look at me now Year 9 Fran; bonking, doing the deed, having your end away; look at me go. And it gets even better, we're talking having sex on your period. 

 The topic of having sex on your period was always a subject manner that would roll around in the early hours of the morning at these sleepovers, all to be met with a lot-of-not-the-most-believable “oh my god ew”’s and “absolutely not”'s with a hint of side-eyes as everyone tried to work out who was bluffing. I would even go as far as to say that now, at the ripe ol’ age of 22, it still stands as a taboo, the "he-who-must-not-be-named" of sex chat. But hey, that might be because we meet at public coffee shops, not our parents’ living room shag pile anymore. 

Period sex - slippery, absolutely off the cards or not - is a thing. Chances are you’ve probably given it a go, and if you’re reading this shaking your head in revulsion you’re probably lying, soz. Bodyform has recently released a survey of 2,000 participants about the taboo with quite a shocking response. I get that before I begin unloading the stats onto you I should share my stance on it, right? GRANDAD DAN, PRESS THE BIG RED BUTTON DOWN. THE BIG RED BUTTON DOWN-... now that he's gone I can put my hands up here and say I am not opposed to doing the deed on my time of the month and probably have done it more than I care to admit, but why am I sat here embarrassed for admitting so? *Suddenly realizes that's the exact reason this study has been done*. Bodyform's POA: to shut that shit down. Sex and menstruating are two of the most natural things a body can conjure up so why can't we have a good ol' chat about it, especially with our partners? And whilst I'm at it, why can't I chat about it with you? 

Okay okay, I know what you want to know you little sods, give us the period sex deets... But it’s not just me you know? 51% of 2000 had admitted to bonking on the blob (c'mon just fess up you 49%). Even more interestingly, 36% of the participants went as far to say they’re *more* inclined to have sex whilst they’re on their period. The stats are there to back it up, even stating that having an orgasm can help period pain relief for when your share bag of diary milk buttons, blanket and bake off just aren’t getting to work. I can't say mine has even been due to needing pain relief and more because well... I wanted to? 

Let's address those 49% shall we that were completely opposed to the idea and dispel the rumour mill. 70% claimed it was just too messy - now hear me out, is it really *that* messy? I will never forget a sex education class when the teacher asked the class "how much blood do you lose during a period?", and someone hollered back (I don't want to name names but Curtis Lloyd) "a bucket miss". Now either that 70% are all loose descendants of the Lloyd's or just have a pretty impressive party trick on their hands, but on average you lose 6-8 teaspoons of blood each period, AKA your partner is not going to be automatically metaphorically transported to water world. But hey, if you don't want to give it a go au natural perhaps try getting jiggy in the shower (which if we're going to be #nofilter is a real waste of my time, who knew water could be the worst lubricant of all time?) or chuck down a towel, because nothing says red hot **sex** like a Morrisons Extra Large Bath Sheet. 

Another of the main no-go’s for period sex are two quite similar statements "I don't feel sexy" at 44% and "it's not a turn on" with 45%. I'm not here to tell you what to find sexy, and hey, I can certainly admit it's not my first-day-period-pants-up-to-my-nipples look and my horrible hormonal demeanour. But let me let you into a little secret - men by human nature want to have the sex, like all the time. Yes you might be wearing an JLS hoodie, which god knows how you managed to find it in your wardrobe, and yes it's even the yellow one, but chances are you're still looking damn fine, even with that Sudocrem face mask. But don't take it from me and my sub-par experience of sub-par men; men are happier to have sex during a woman’s period than females are, with 21% of adults claiming the idea of it doesn’t bother them at all. TOLD YOU. 

 One-in-five girls within this study actually go as far as to say they didn't even talk to their partners about their period, let alone wanting to take a one way ticket to period pound town, which to me is the scariest statistic of all. Although having to bleed from our vaginas every month, 65 days of the year may sound like a sick joke, it is the most natural thing your body can do, girl. And honestly? If your partner is that disgusted by a period maybe it's time for a new boyfriend, but that's a story for another day.

Check out the whole report: https://www.bodyform.co.uk/our-world/period-sex-survey/


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