Life is an odd one. You can be going 100 miles per hour, everything can be going hunky dory, and then suddenly you hit something. Something rather momentous, and everything get’s a bit shit. Great analogy. But, “a bit shit” is the least amount of characters I can use to put into words my life the past month, “a bit shit”.
I would like to think I am quite alright at looking at the bright side of things, I can quite quickly get over something a little bit shitty, look forward to the better aspects of my day or quickly think of a solution. But sometimes It’s a little bigger than realising you’ve left your headphones on the side at home whilst you’re about to step on a train for three hours or accidentally dropping your favourite highlighter into smithereens. Sometimes you can’t just sigh loudly and get on with it.
I won’t start peeling off wordy bullet point list on how June was perhaps the worst month of my life, I’ll save that for another day. All I’ll say is, as it turns out, weirdly enough, that when your life is a bit of a shit show you don’t particularly feel like typing away about a cute little black dress or about how much you love wearing yellow recently, which I really bloody do. The furthest my social media input has been over the past month running commentary on Twitter about Love Island (Amber is the devil) and that is okay. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had the biggest case of blogging FOMO humanly possible. I didn’t particularly feel comfortable with creating a fake little life on social media, of candid shots with a blurry background when that couldn’t have been further from the truth. However, watching bloggers at the same level of me create beautiful content and continue to do amazing, although made me swell with happiness made me feel like the only one not invited to the party, even though it was me that repeatedly said I didn’t want to go anyway, that I had just bought some new cosy pyjamas and wanted to take them on a Saturday night in trial run. Another first class analogy.
In an article, published then quickly deleted by Vestoj they spoke with now ex-editor in chief of British Vogue, Lucinda Chambers. She quite candidly spoke about her experience of being fired from the Vogue power-house. Reading this late tonight whilst in bed made me feel so unbelievably okay with feeling like a bit of a failure. “You’re not loud to fail in fashion in fashion especially in this age of social media when everything is about leading a successful, amazing life. Nobody today is aloud to fail, instead, the prospect causes anxiety and terror. But why can’t we celebrate failure? After all, it helps us grow and develop”. If Lucinda Chambers can feel like a bit of a failure I”m pretty sure a 20-year-old girl from Shropshire is aloud to feel like that too. So today marks my first day back to blogging and I have a lot be excited about.
Hopefully you all haven’t forgotten about my little bum chin face and actually read this post, if not, heya mum, heya dad. Can we have a nice roast when I come home next weekend?
Such a refreshingly honest post! Hope July was a better month for you lovely :) x
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