This modern love

Thursday, 28 September 2017

Last night I sat outside a church at 4am, my two friends by my side, chips with curry sauce in hand, eyeliner no longer anywhere near the proximity of my eyes, when some male approaches me with four single words “You cute, got snapchat?”. This chivalrous statement spasmed my eyes far back into my skull and back around. Really, sir?

I could make the blasé comment about being born in the wrong era, comments of couples in the 50s sharing a milkshake, drive through cinemas, yearning to be propositioned by a charming stranger one day walking down the street, locking eyes and spending the rest of our lives together- but I won’t. I must simply accept the reality of dating in 2017: the “you cute, got snapchat?” Although I’m seriously struggling.

We’ve been moulded into a generation whereby, overtly showing someone you give a toss, or as it's commonly known: romance, isn’t classed as cool.  Giving a toss has been replaced with aloofness, putting in little effort & playing as hard to get as possible until you both cave, and get together. I can admit I am that aloof little shit sometimes. I get a kick out of leaving a guy unread until he ultimately must triple text, the more little blue text boxes appear the more points to me.

We’ve become so obsessed with being mysterious that the idea of someone outwardly telling you that they find you attractive, and got forbid like you, is a massive turn off, yet not giving away an inkling of your feelings and being rather rude is the sure-fire way to nab yourself a partner.

Everything within the dating process is now a game of power play: who cares less. Even done to the nth degree. Take Instagram stories. It’s a Saturday night and midway through this modern dating ritual of not giving a fuck with someone, let’s call them Enrique. You post a picture, a video or boomerang. You’ve got that person in your mind who you want to view it: Enrique. You can sure as hell believe Enrique is doing the exact same. What happens next is something I’m sure our parents’ generation, and especially grandparents generation wouldn’t be able to fathom. The two of you engage in what can only be described as the ultimate power play. You post the picture: the power is with you. If they open it, you’re still on top. Rique deliberately chooses not to open it; the power is once again with the opposition. I choose the word opposition specifically, he/she is really your contender until you ultimately have to admit you want to be with them.

Even when we’re eventually paired up, our generation still chucks as many obstacles at us for us to not succeed. Here I raise you the psycho girlfriend trope. Ah, dating in 2017: am I right? For those who are completely unaware of what I can only describe as a trend, the psycho girlfriend trend is a culmination of traditional media and social media. Twitter, and shows like ex on the beach: The Megan Mckenna. The psycho girlfriend trope had its humble beginnings as a meme, trivialising being demanding, high matinence and possessive, all in less than 140 characters.  The past “cool, chill girl” you once had in the dating stages is now poised as the “cute but psycho girl”. Abuse has become a trend. Why is the princess girlfriend such a desirable persona, while a boyfriend with the same traits would be needy, demanding, possessive? Abuse is abuse, being possessive isn’t cute, in a male nor a female, it never was.

 All of this makes the prospect of a relationship so unbelievably uninteresting. And as the famous Gemma Collins once said, “I’m sick of playing games. I am games’d out”. So, like Gemma I will retreat to my bed (and stay there until I claim to see a ghost and break out through a fire exit) (classic) (I can admit I’ve watched the GC’s 19 minute CBB compilation YouTube video too many times) and dream about the possibility of miraculously locking eyes with a stranger on the street and spending the rest of our days together. However, only will I hold the eye contact if he’s over 6ft and if I can quickly decipher if he’s funny, kind and desirably a florist or poet.

Jumper: Weekday
Skirt: Newlook
Sunglasses: ASOS


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